Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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