I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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