I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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