I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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