I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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