i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
