I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
