I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
