this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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