Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
