census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
