Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
