ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
