i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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