im six kinds of drunk right now
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
