I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
