If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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