Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
