it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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