What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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