Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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