The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
