We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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