Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
