the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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