Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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