Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
