just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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