You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
