im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
