she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
