If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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