Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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