So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My dick has a subreddit
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
