when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize