This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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