Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
