Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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