Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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