No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
