He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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