Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My life is pants optional.
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