she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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