Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
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