Ambien. No doubt about it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
two words...techno handjob
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
