ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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