I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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