Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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