i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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