Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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