why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize