Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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