Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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