Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
