Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize