If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
