It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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