we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
