Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
