He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
