You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
