super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
