If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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