Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
