I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
