There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
